Body Image, Society's Expectations, & Working With What You've Got

  In the midst of all the chaos that society's beauty standards have created for women, there has also been chaos created by the beauty standards and ideal body image that society has created for men.  Within the past year, we all have seen our fair share of photo sets and articles that point out exactly how problematic toxic masculinity is.  From an extreme lack of emotion and sensitivity, to the beautiful balance of masculinity and femininity that many men feel ashamed to express, society has determined that men must fit into a box created by what is deemed to be masculine. 

Body image is an aspect of society's expectations that is often explored and discussed in relation to women.  Though society sets impossible and unhealthy beauty standards for women, men also battle with the constant comparisons made between what we are 'supposed' to look like, and how we actually look. 

In other words,

“It’s just as hard to be Ken, as it is to be Barbie.”

  For many years, I struggled with my body weight and feeling confident about my size.  While I've always been skinny, comments about my weight never pushed me towards self acceptance.  Hearing words from family members and classmates about how a man is supposed to look, and realizing that I didn't fit in, was difficult to tolerate. 

"Do you even eat?"

"Why are you so skinny?"

"You need to gain some weight."

  These are only of few of the questions that I was asked on a daily basis growing up, and am still asked occasionally, although I now know how to respond.  I used to beat myself up about my weight and feel inferior to the men with rippling muscles that graced the covers of all of my favorite magazines.  My clothes never fit how I thought they should and in middle school my body image got so bad that I wouldn't enter a pool without a shirt.  I would wear baggy clothing and do everything possible to hide my skinny frame. 

  Fast forward to now, I embrace my body.  I am slim but I am strong, and while the weight I do have may not be much... I carry it well.  In a world full of Instagram models, fit teas, protein mixes and self proclaimed personal trainers, it's easy to feel left out.  My body is my temple, and while I have decided that I will work to ensure its development and growth, I will do these things for my own satisfaction, not the approval of others.  To the men that have struggled to gain weight in hopes to fit in, you are beautiful as you are.  If you want to change, do so for yourself.