Does it ever really get better?
All these years later, I'm proud to say that yes, it does. I'd first like to say that 'better' is subjective to an extent. By someones else's standards, my existence as an openly gay black man might not be much better than it was at 17. But by my standards, I'm so much happier now than I was back then.
Life has hit me hard in many different ways since coming out. Some of which I may never discuss, because they are just that painful. On the other hand, life has also shown me immense favor since coming out. I can't help but to think about my queer brothers and sisters who didn't make it this far. The youth who were victims of terminal abuse, self-sabotage and even suicide. Because of this I am proud of the progress I've made, and will continue to be visible in remembrance of those that weren't given the opportunity to do so.
One of the best parts about the 'better' is the relationship I now have with some of my family members. People who I had previously counted out or dismissed are now some of the people I can be my true self around. Another good part about my life now is that I no longer feel insecure about my sexuality. Of course I have insecurities about other things.. but I'm proud to announce that my sexuality is no longer on that list.
To any of you that may be reading this and waiting for your 'better'. Please don't give up. Continue working to create the life you want for yourself. Because it's out there, and it's waiting for you. I'm still going after mine!
To any of you who may serve as allies to the LGBTQ+ community, continue on in your ally-ship. Let your community of queer friends and family know that they are loved, respected, and valued. You may not understand all of the intricacies and inner-workings… and that's ok. Your patience and effort are what mean the most.
Love & Light,
TC
fashion footnote
For me, part of getting better, is dressing better. My style is simultaneously fully realized, and ever evolving. 16 year-old closeted me only wishes he could be this confident.
