Food for Thought: Complex People Require Complex Understanding

Hello again, did you miss me?

While away, I’ve been doing my best to fight off the frigid midwest temperatures with creative projects and personal development. Though the winter tends to be full of time spent indoors and glacial paced traffic, I find it to be a particularly good time for self reflection—and reading. The two truly go hand in hand, and I’m currently reading a book entitled, Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Relationship, by Thomas Moore.

I’m not quite finished, but I’ve highlighted quite a few gems in the text so far. The one that I feel is worth sharing with you all today touches on the complexities of individuals. In the past I’ve found myself in the presence of people I thought were “just like me”, only to find out that we are only similar at best. Finding out that you and another individual have a lot in common can lead to feelings of excitement, which tend to overshadow the deepest parts of that person that contrast greatly from your own. This can lead to the premature dismantling of what had the potential to be a great relationship. Because you are growing closer to one another, blindly. Interacting without any real understanding of how complex the other person is, even if it seems as if they are just like you.

We’ve all developed ways of presenting ourselves in the best light. Showing our most prized traits and qualities, while burrowing the complexities beyond the surface. In my opinion it’s human nature, as well as a safety mechanism. This is why I’m coming to understand that when someone you thought was so much like you, does or says something that you don’t fall in line with, it shouldn’t come as an extreme surprise. In his book, Moore writes:

“One person may not realize how complicated the other is, and assume they are as transparent as they appear. ”

I can’t expect anyone to be like me, even if it seems like they are. And if someone has a different opinion or idea, then it’s the idea that I should disagree with, not the person as a whole. Shared experiences are great, because they draw us together, but let us not forget the deeper experiences that make us individuals. We’re all structured differently, and by coming to understand this, we might better understand the relationships we’ve built and are hoping to keep.

The look featured in this weeks post is in full accordance with how the weather makes me feel. Blue, but never completely. A pop of color is my way of saying, “Winter, I’m here.”